A LOCKED-UP LIFE (a 2-year old op-ed)

June 22. 2006

A LOCKED-UP LIFE

I may sound pretty weird but I have never perceived a jail in a purely negative manner. I believe freedom and restriction exist in a prison cell. Freedom from witnessing the unpleasant episodes of the outside world and restriction to live with utmost dignity and honor.

Every now and then, I would wildly fantasize of locking myself up alone with nothing but paper and pen as company. Being the dreamer that I am, I know it's really not that bad. It's a different kind of freedom for me. Freedom to create my own world through my writings. Freedom from the people who do nothing but judge you. And mostly, freedom to think. This, I have concluded imagining the individual cells they shoot in Hollywood movies. But every time the realization of belonging in a third world country hits me, I would become skeptical. Then the news last week pushed me to forget that one wild fantasy. A woman prisoner was raped in her cell by her cell mate.

I have never seen a prison up close before. But I am aware of how repulsive it has become through the years. Its bars are as rusty as our justice system in the Philippines. Power and wealth have become the major determinants of “innocent” people. Cops have grown into butlers that protects the “moneys” in the country from the impoverished people who now serve as the residents of the calabooses. We don't have to actually see a prison to help us judge it. Every news involves it. Tortured prisoners. Unhealthy environment. Prison riot. Leakage. Woman prisoners raped. Death Penalty/Abolition.

What difference is there between a tortured prisoner and a tortured businessman? A dead prisoner and a dead congressman? The performer of lethal injection and a murderer? Yes, there is difference. A piece of paper signed by “qualified people” with capitalized A-U-T-H-O-R-I-T-Y. But really, where? Because I honestly am blind to it. Though, I'm still undecided whether the abolition of death penalty would improve our judicial system. Its like being stuck in the middle of an elongating rubber band with your moral beliefs on the other side and intellect on the other.

For now, as a communication student who is obliged to care about the social and political issues in the country, I still feel useless. I have no idea if any of my actions in the future will bring change. I'm still locked up in this stage where the best thing to do is finish my studies and think of a way to get out of this big box called “Lack of Self-Confidence”. I can't do anything big for now but I wish to do one in the future. And after all those goals are finished, I'll probably go build my own cell on my future rooftop with a laptop and the vast of the sky as my company.