The mediocre teacher tells.
The good teacher explains.
The superior teacher demonstrates.
The great teacher inspires.
--William Arthur Ward
I have always been the type of person who gets inspired easily. I guess, as an aspiring writer, I need all the inspiration I can get. But if you could see me these past few months, I bet you’ll probably think I’ve lost my mind when I said that first statement.
Ma’am___ is the type of teacher who doesn’t look like one at all. She wears odd-looking ukay-ukay clothes and shoes, short boyish hair that is sort of long at the back and a beautiful smile that always seemed threatening to break into a laugh. On Wednesdays, which is a “wash day” for Adamsonians, you’ll often come across her in the corridors walking fast with her head slightly stooping and you’ll probably just disregard her as some tardy student hurrying for class. Well, without the bag and books, of course. She is always in a hurry even when she is walking with somebody. It must be hard walking with her. I wonder how much more if she’s running. Lode runner, is that you? Just kidding! :D
Before she even became my professor, I’ve heard rumors about her greatness in class. It actually fascinated the hell out of me. So when I found out she was my professor last semester in “Introduction to Mass Communication & Theories”, I could not wait to attend the class. (Well, actually, I didn’t attend our first meeting. I sort of became the kind of student who doesn’t attend first meetings ever since I entered 2nd year.) But still I am telling the truth when I say I’m dying to be in her class. ‘Coz ‘til now, I am still. I could still remember how much I anticipate attending her class. Our Comm. Theories started at 4:00 to 5:00 p.m. Since my classes last semester starts at 11 a.m. then I have a vacant time of 1-3 every Wednesday, I usually went to the mall to watch a film, alone or not. I had “Introduction to Journalism” at 3:00 but I seldom attend that class because I really find it boring. Well, it could’ve been an interesting subject but the professor practically bored me. There was this one time when I watched Merry Christmas (Joyeux Noel) alone in SM Manila, and it was about to get past 4 but still it wasn’t finished yet so I hurried out and asked the lady in charged of the tickets to put a stamp on my hand so I could go back later to finish the film. I really don’t like the idea of missing a class of my favorite professor. I’ll probably stop at anything when it’s time to come to her class. I have learned a great deal from her last semester. Not just within the scope of our subject but also about general information. She taught us not to become some dumb-ass who’s all right with media spoon-feeding. To start thinking and stop conforming.
This semester she’s my professor in two of my subjects: Film Appreciation MWF 8:00-9:00 a.m. and Editorial & Column Writing TTh 9:00-10-30 a.m. both my first subject for the day. Therefore, I have a class with her 5 days a week for 5 months. And if you ask me, I prefer it so much ‘coz I get to start my day seeing Ma’am___'s jolly nature and hearing her fine teachings.
I’m not really close with this great professor. Unlike with my other favorite professor Ma’am Lizelle, I had the chance to hang out and build friendship with her. But with this great professor, who’s the subject of this entry, it’s different. It’s as if she’s friends with everybody. She actually knows all her student’s names by heart. I have friends who have commonly testified to me that they were surprise to know that our great professor knew them by name. Even though, they weren’t reciting in class at all. She loves to ask questions in class. Questions that once you have answered would truly make you feel good about yourself. She never misses commending you once you give out an intelligent question or answer. I guess that’s one reason why I love this great professor of mine. Because she’s aware of how students like me, with fluctuating self-confidence, can be boosted with just a simple commendation from somebody. Me, I do recite sometimes, mostly out of impulse or when no one else in the class is raising their hands. But I’m not really the kind of student who talks in class a lot. ‘Coz I could be really ignorant of a lot of things. Though, I wanted badly to participate in class discussions most of the time especially when I’ve got good ideas to contribute and questions to ask, but it’s just that, I keep having this feeling that I would just get humiliated once I open my mouth to speak. I guess this is the outcome of too much exposure to humiliations when I was younger. But I’m really trying hard to overcome it because the teachings of my great professor is really motivating me to do so.
The reason I’m writing this is because my insane friend, Ara (just kidding!), reminded me to finish this last Thursday. She told me with this bright smile on her face after our Editorial class that, “Sabi ko pa naman ngayong araw na’to kahit si Ma’am___ hindi ako mapapatawa…” Yes, she’s absolutely right. We were all overwhelmingly enlightened as soon as we exited the Media Center. Ara and I, think that it was the best Editorial class we had so far. We didn’t discuss our lesson. We just passed our Editorial paper then Ma’am started lecturing us about thinking differently. Ma’am___ would not stop joking around so I can’t clearly remember if we ever stopped laughing the whole period. These are some of the memorable statements she had said in our Editorial class. Not her exact words (Gosh, I can’t possibly memorize all her speech word by word!) but something to this effect.
1.I’m encouraging you not to think like average people. Huwag kayong mag-isip ng normal! Get out of the box!
2.It’s not true na a writer is shaped or molded, there are born writers.
3.Huwag kayo bibili sa mga dispensers dinadaga yung mga yun. Tignan nyo try nyo buksan may makikita kayo mga daga umiihi, pumupupu… ahh.. (looks up at the ceiling) …tumatambay!
4.According to George Orwell and Antoine Saint-Exupery, my dalawang type ng coffee drinkers, ung “aroma” and “robust”
5.Nakita nyo na ba kong nagsuot ng branded? Hindi pa! Mas masaya pag hindi ka nagcoconform. Mas Malaya. Iwasan nyo muna ang pagpunta sa mga malls dahil diyan ngmumula ang conformity.
6.(In writing) Pag tingin nyo yung naisip nyo ay naisip na ng iba ‘wag nyo na isulat. Umisip pa kayo ng iba na magdidistinguish sa inyo sa iba.
7.Search simple pleasures in small things. Manood kayo CineMalaya. Have coffee with your friends. Magbasa kayo.
8.(Looking sad) Hindi ako nakapunta sa mall tour ni Doraemon nung Saturday. Nagcheck kasi kami ng papel dito. Naiisip ko everytime titingin ako sa clock, ‘andun na un!’, ‘start na!’, ‘nagpapalaro na!’. Ang dami daw freebies!
9.Minsan nalilito na’ko, parang pag hinarap sa’kin si Tobey Maguire at Doraemon (swiftly shifts eyes from imaginary Doraemon to imaginary Tobey Maguire) sino ba pipiliin ko?! (acts desperate) O kaya Wentworth Miller or Doraemon?! Doraemon... Doraemon...
10.Huwag kayo matakot magtanong. Kung hindi nyo alam magtanong kayo.
11.Meron isang painter ang nagsabi na ang pinakamatinding kaaway ng “magaling na tao(forgot the exact term she used again)” ay pag naging conscious siya sa sasabihin ng iba.
12.Lahat ng matinong teacher hangad na malampasan sila ng mga estudyante nila.
13.Gusto namin ni Sir Edward nyo ‘tong batch ninyo, kasi parang lahat kayo hungry for learning. Willing kayo matuto. Tsaka marami kaming nakikitang promising students na pwedeng maging somebody someday. Hindi nyo ba napapansin sinasabi lagi sa inyo ni Sir Edward nyo, ‘Wag kayo magbabago ha…” Sana nga huwag kayo magbago.
These are not her exact words but these are how I have understood everything she had told us. Ma’am___ isn’t just a professor to me. She has become somebody who has touched my life in the most possible way. She changed some of my distorted views about a lot of things. She helped me get out of my box. She might not be aware of it but she pushed me closer to God. I sometimes visit her blog hoping to see a new didactic entry ‘coz you could really learn a lot from her. Her bank of knowledge is like the solar system or the entire galaxy to be exact ‘coz vast information seemed to be spread out accordingly in her head. I remember how she keeps telling me to smile more 'coz I always look serious and that I look better when I smile. Sometimes she would shout, "Oh malungkot ka na naman! Ang aga aga!" I really can't help but laugh. Then gradually I tried to change, tried to smile more. And yes, she actually noticed that I wasn't so serious-looking anymore. Well, can I tell her? That I've learned to smile more because I'm just as lucky as I can be 'cause the world's greatest teacher is teaching me!
I wish all professors have compassion and dedication like her. She’s a true role model to me. I wish everybody could see the beauty beyond the boyish looks and hilarious remarks. I wish she could touch a lot more lives with her teachings and inspiring personality. I wish I could thank her enough in the future. I wish she stays the same. I wish her all the blessing in the world. I have a lot of wishes. But for now, I’ve got one wish that I wish so badly to come true…
I WISH SHE COULD READ THIS AND WHEN SHE FINALLY DOES, I WISH SHE'LL KNOW I’M TALKING ABOUT HER.
I'm just as lucky as I can be 'cause the world's greatest teacher is teaching me!
inspirationsJournal Entry (07/17/06 2:32 A.M.)
realizations2:32 A.M. 07/17/06
Subject: Earth Slave
Author: Claudine F. Claudio
The world has turned into an upstart. I remember how my friend Melson Fernando once remarked to me that he consider himself as somebody for whom the world turns. Well not exactly like that, but something to that effect. A quote I have stolen from guidance testing office in Adamson provoked him to say that. Because I told him that I believe, in contrast to his, that I exist for the world. I thought I had the right belief then. I even considered Melson's remark as somewhat bragging. But now, I've learned that what he actually said was right. Why should I revolve for the world when it is literally revolving for me? Why should I conform to its rules when I am a part of God's reason why it is existing?
I can't believe I have turned into an Earth's slave. It is depressing to know that I have worked so hard to prove to everyone that I am worthy. But all this while I was trying to prove it, I'm actually falling into one the Earth's ingenious tricks to trap me into slavery. I feel so dumb. Oh God, whatever happened to me?
/ingenue07
Journal Entry (07/03/06 11.32 p.m.)
sentiments7/3/2006 11:32p.m.
Subject: School Pressure
Author: Claudine Claudio
This day is probably one of the most tragic days of my life. I was actually surprised that I didn’t show any sign of depression after I went out of the media center. I was actually all smiles and laughs with my friends and with Lance. I even told him “Aba, hindi ako bad mood ngayon ah… siguro mamaya sa bahay pag wala na akong kausap.” And I turned out right. There are 4 constant words floating around my head since I got out of the media center this afternoon. I AM A FAILURE.
“You’re the worst agency… worst agency… worst agency…”
I can’t stop the involuntary ringing of my professor’s words about our presentation. I want to cry. This is bittersweet torture. Writing my emotions down. Trying to refresh the feeling of rejection over and over again. I feel bitter. And the bitterness is towards the main character of my world. ME. Yes, in objective form. I can’t feel subjective anymore. It’s as if every little opinion I have in my dumb head doesn’t matter anymore because they’re all wrong. All pretending to be right when it’s actually brainless all along. I want to cry. Cry until my eyes run dry. Maybe then I wouldn’t feel anything anymore. But I know I’m wrong. I’ve done that before and it was of no use. There’s too much held back tears kept in my system that I feel it would never run dry. I have a reservoir of tears. Tears I have long ago concealed from the public eye. But now I want to unleash them all from the chains I have forced to them. But I won’t. Because I’m in my parent’s room and I’m supposed to be finishing my Editorial paper.
I AM A FAILURE. I feel disappointed with myself once again. I’m going back to that immature stage where I felt like I can’t do anything right. This semester is becoming such a big pressure on my shoulder. I’ve been doing my best with everything I do. My assignments. My quizzes. My papers. The Defense. I thought everything was working out fine until today happened. I got a 75 and 88 in my film analysis early this morning. That alone would have ruined my day but The Defense had to add up to my misfortunes. “…worst agency. Worst agency…” I want to die. I can’t trust myself anymore. I’m losing confidence. I’m losing hope. I feel like a loser. A person meant to self-destruct.
I can’t write a story. I’m really losing it. I’m becoming unimaginative, uncreative, brainless, shallow-minded, illogical, untalented etc. I feel useless and worthless. Now I’m crying. It does feel nice. But what can it do? It won’t bring me back to my old manic hopeful self. I’m a loser. I know I must not do this. Ma’am Liz taught me never to discourage myself because what you think reflects how you act. But at this moment, these are my present thoughts and I cannot seem to control them.
Maybe I’m really not as good as how I see myself before. I thought I was really good in school. I never doubt that before. But now I definitely do. In the past, I was certain I could be competitive. But now I’m not certain anymore. I don’t want to give up. With my old self, giving up would be my last or perhaps never a resort. But now I feel like resorting to it.
“I thought you’re with God? How can you say so if you are this shallow?”
I can hear somebody reprimanding me. Yes, how dare I lose hope and happiness? Hey, I shouldn’t even be writing this! Isn’t this the place where I actually prayed to be? A place where I can be challenged. A place where I can feel pressure but at the same time enjoy the pleasure of trying to endure it? Haha! Oh my, I’m such an idiot! Hehehehe! This is crazy. Or maybe I’m going crazy. Yes I think so ‘coz now I’m laughing!
/ingenue07