Whoever said that Valentine’s Day is only specially meant for couples? Those people are ought to be massacred. Slashed and stabbed to death. Slaughtered. Now, that’s too morbid. Wait, this is supposed to be an inspirational article! What’s with the macabre statements? Anyway, before I end up giving account of the gory details of how to kill people why don’t I just tell you my story? A story that will remind you that, it is indeed God, who molds up our love story. Here is how it goes…
A Valentine Story
Claudine Claudio
Claudine Claudio
I was never the kind of girl who panics when I haven’t received a date invitation from a guy before the 14th of February or what the romantics usually call, “The Love Month”. I kept thinking, “So what? I’ve lived well enough not having a single date on the 14th for the last 16 years. And besides God knows when it’s time.” Yes, this was my defense almost 3 years ago before I went to college and before guys seemed to be suddenly “seeing” and “noticing” me. Since I entered college and distinguished other worlds aside from San Pedro, Laguna and met people other than Liceans, I became more of a world-conscious human being - always thinking of what other people would say and always wanting to prove something. I was always out with someone on Valentine’s Day for the last 3 years. But this year, February 14 came a little too suddenly. My love life was hastily dropping to zero. It was eight days before the 14th and nobody has invited me yet! I was in a silent panic. Then a couple of guys asked me out 3 days before. I wanted to say yes to anyone of them just in case no one else would ask me out. But I did not. I told them both I’ll think about it. I’ve got three reasons for letting them wait. First, I hardly know them. Second, I was trying to collect date invitations so I could choose later whom I like most on the night before the 14th. Lastly, and the most sensible reason I had; I was waiting for a particular guy to ask me out. The first may seem too shallow for a reason. The second may seem too unkind. But when you are madly in love with a guy who considers you only as his best friend and might never even think about you on Valentine’s Day, you’d rather spend the day with someone who thinks of you as somebody special than make your day miserable by wondering if he’s out with someone else. My goal on Valentine’s Day: Have a date, forget about him and make the day happily remarkable and extraordinary.
February 13 Monday night, I prayed to God. No, it’s more like talking than praying. I asked Him to make tomorrow a happily remarkable day. A day I would never forget and filled with love. And I promised Him that I would try my best to be a good girl. I approved one of the 2 invitations I had received 3 days before. We agreed to meet at 3 p.m. in a mall near my university. Before going to sleep, I sent greetings of love through SMS to all of my friends. The next day, my most awaited greeting from my best friend woke me up. I usually go back to sleep on my first “wake up” call but seeing his name on my inbox hauled the sleepiness out of my system. He asked me if I have a date. I lied and said I have none wishing he would ask me out. I didn’t want to ask him the same question because I was afraid of what his answer might be. But I asked him anyway just to have peace of mind. I was utterly relieved when he said he’s on a duty and could not afford to go. I know it was mean but I can’t help but feel glad that he’s not going out with anyone that day. The conversation ended with me wishing him a good day. I left home greeting my parents a Happy Valentine’s Day and kissed them. As usual, my father sent me off with a sarcastic remark about how I would waste my day and money with a guy on a date. I never really appreciated his irritating jokes so I left home with a puckered brow once again.
At around 12:30 while my only class for the day was boring me to death, I was shocked to receive a message from my best friend inviting me to come with him on a group date after his work at 7 p.m. on the same mall where I would be having my first date for the day. At first I thought he was actually asking me out! But he later clarified on his next message that he wants to pair me with one of his friends. I was initially outraged. I wanted to squeeze myself into my cell phone to his so I could give him a fist and a big “No!” But the intense longing to spend time with him on Valentine’s Day made me say yes. I know it was a naughty decision. I would be having two dates in one day with two different guys! But then I asked myself, “I thought you want this day to be extraordinary?” As soon as I exited the class room, I received an SMS from my mother informing me that she was alone in the mall near the university waiting for my father and asking me to accompany her until he returns. I had a date but I decided to accompany her until 3 p.m. because it would not be good in God’s eyes if I lie to Mama and leave her strolling in the mall alone not knowing where to go (I promised that I’d be a good girl, remember?). I was really that determined to make the day really wonderful. In the mall, Mama treated me lunch in my favorite pizza parlor and asked me if I could stay with her until 5 o’ clock. She said my father was taking care of his papers in his agency and would not be back until 5. At first I hesitated to do what I think was the right thing but when I pondered about what’s more important, I cancelled my first date, apologized and explained to him the reason. He was very understanding so I did not feel very guilty.
After pigging out 4 pizzas (I’m really a pizza addict), Mama asked me to help her choose a black bag pack for my father. While we were strolling around the department store, I confessed to Mama that I would be having a date later at 7 o’ clock. It was the first time in years that I have asked her permission to go out with a guy. I’m not used to disclosing my romantic affairs to Mama but that day I have a strange desire to reach out to her. I’m not sure, maybe because we seldom spend time alone together to talk about girl things. I told her that the guy really means a lot to me and I would really love to go. I could see amazement in her eyes when she turned to me and announced that she would love to allow me if only my father would not be leaving tomorrow for Europe. She said it was the reason why she went all the way from Laguna to Manila so she could accompany him in attending a briefing in his agency. She told me that they both planned that after his briefing they would surprise us with a family date in Harbor View, Roxas Boulevard. Upon hearing this, I had this intense urge to shout a big “No!” I’ve been savoring the feeling of being wanted for having more than one date invitation on the 14th. Not all girls can have that pleasure of feeling so beautiful! I have cancelled my first date but it wasn’t that tough to handle because that guy was not really important to me. And now I’m about to lose my date with my best friend’s friend which I’ve been imagining as ours all along! So I stayed with her while waiting for my younger brother, his girlfriend, and my 2 cousins who accompanied my 7-year old sister from school to Manila. I sent an explanation and apology to my best friend through SMS. I received a one-word response “ok…” Knowing him, I knew he was disappointed. After this, my mood worsened. I wandered with Mama in the mall envying every woman with flowers in their hand. I couldn’t help but wish I was in their place. I wanted to ignore every couple I came across with. But that would mean walking with my eyes closed because almost everybody has their partners. I felt as if my parents were ruining my Valentine’s Day. It was supposed to be my day! My romantic day! Not my family day! At 5:30 p.m., my father arrived. He would not stop mocking me and sardonically questioning me why no one has invited me to date. I felt so miserable at that moment that I took his joke seriously. Again, my repressed hatred for my father surfaced. I began remembering his past mistakes, flaws and faults. My parents ordered me to sit on a steel bench somewhere in the 3rd floor while they search for a bag leaving me alone there with a heavy heart. I felt a tremendous urge to shout as loud as I can. I may seem too shallow but I felt like crying. I know it was wrong for me to feel that way. It was very childish and immature of me. Then I remembered my prayer to God. I tried so hard not to question His plan for me. But I thought, “It was just a simple request. I tried to do the right things all day. I just want today to be happy. Why won’t You let me? Don’t I deserve it?”
Those 30 minutes of waiting in that insipid bench in front of a flower stall (which I, at first, thought as God’s way of taunting me because I questioned Him), gave me a chance to ponder on how small-minded and stupid I had become. I spent about 15 minutes just staring blankly ahead of me (which was the irritating flower stall!) feeling like I was the most miserable person in the mall. Then I caught a glimpse of a family with an infant passed by me. Behind them was a teenage couple who seemed to be glued together because they won’t let go of each other. The family and the couple looked equally happy to me. Then in the midst of my observation, came the most sensible thing I’ve done all day. I found myself smiling at the family and the couple suddenly came out of the picture.
What was I thinking? If there’s a love worth honoring on Valentine’s Day, that would certainly be your parents’ love for you! Where were the lessons I’ve learned from my great professors, numerous prayer meetings and inspirational books? I was such an idiot to allow myself to be filmed by the world’s nonsense demands and stupidities. I tried to envisage myself in someone else’s point of view. I was surprised to find myself searching for any familiarity left from the unreasonable girl sitting in that gray steel bench. I wanted to bang her head in that stupid steel bench as many times as I could until I have awakened the once matured and understanding girl inside her. Fortunately this was fulfilled when I caught sight of my parents walking towards me with Mama holding a rose in her hand and two on my father’s. There were huge smiles on their faces when they reached me. And those smiles broke into laughter when my father handed over one of his roses to me, knelt down as if he was praying and joked, “’Diba luluhod pa? Ganito ba?” I couldn’t stop laughing out loud at his gag. It may seem corny but I sensed a tear about to slip from my left eye so I abruptly wiped it with my handkerchief. The moment felt so wonderful not only because it was the first time my father gave me a flower but also because in that moment, I felt his love enveloping me. I don’t usually give affectionate gestures but I was so touched that I gave both my parents a kiss on the cheek. Then my cousins and little sister came to whom Papa had given his last rose. At 8:30 we met up with my brother and his girlfriend in Harbor View Restaurant.
It was indeed a happily remarkable, extraordinary and love-filled day. We had a great time at dinner which ended at 10:30 in the evening. My family had problems like every other normal families. My father might have committed the biggest mistakes in the past and I admit that I never took them lightly. But that day, my deep-rooted resentment towards him started to float up from my system as little bubbles from a cola gradually surfaces to pop. I felt an immense sadness to realize that this would be my last dinner with my father this year. These last 4 years had been very difficult for my family to cope with. But that 14th night of the Love Month, I know in my heart that my father has changed. Now whoever says Valentine’s Day is made only for lovers? I ought to commit suicide if I’ve been too blinded to realize it. Valentine’s Day is meant for everyone who not only loves but loves deeply. Nobody loves you more profoundly than your family. My Valentine’s Day may not have included romantic dates with guys. It was not the kind of day I’ve prayed for. It wasn’t even the kind of day I dream as ideal! But I would never ever trade that day for anything in the world. It was the day I figured out that my Papa came back.
Well, this would have been the end of my multifaceted Valentine story if only my best friend did not send me an SMS at exactly 11:45 in the evening. This was his message (exactly written this way, preserved in my phone’s memory forever or maybe not) “Pare, wla nman tlga ko ippakiLa2 sau knna eh. d8 tau minsan ah. Ung tau lng. Gudnyt pare koh. Swtdrims.Ü”
Hmmm… I really wonder what God has in store for my love story.
/ingenue07
