raining sentiments...

The only advantageous effect of having no classes for 6 straight days (considering that it won't be raining hard on Tuesday) is that I don't have to experience the pressuring hassles of finishing my "I Don't Understand Why" and "I Understand Why" poems. In addition to that, I can tolerate my procrastinating habit and do everything on Monday including my unfinished powerpoint in Ethics.

I don't like it when I stay at home for so long. Well, don't get me wrong. I love to spend quality time with my family. I often miss them whenever school works are becoming too heavy for me. I'm usually not at home. Even when I am, the first thing I do as soon as I get home (usually at around 11:30 P.M. ) is turn on my laptop, become silently impatient at the freaking speed of my forsaken dial-up and do whatever it is that I need to submit the next day. If lucky and I have no assignments (which happens once a week) I still turn on my laptop, become silently impatient at the freaking speed of my REALLY forsaken dial-up and check my Friendster and mail. Then afterwards, I lie on my seemingly casted off bed and I get to stare up stupidly at the ceiling waiting so badly that sleep would fall from it. Unfortunately, sleep eludes me until my mother is ready to prepare my sister's breakfast and lunchbox at 4:30 a.m.

So, these 3-day vacation serves as my real REST. Not that I need rest. I mean, of course I do need rest physically. But these three days didn't relax me at all. I was chased by emotional and intellectual exhaustion. Sometimes, I'd rather be doing something physically tiring than think about a lot of things 'cause it drains my energy more. You see, I miss Lance, so I think about him most of the time. I keep recalling the things we do together like that crazy maymietalk. Everytime I imagine his face, I can't help but let out a huge smile. Even when he's texting me, I still can't help but imagine how he was saying every message as if he was telling it to me personally. I miss my friends so I also think about them. Sometimes I would even reminisce our times together. Mads' and I's mad conversations, Ara's playful countenance, Irene's funny remarks, Sab's sarcastic personality, Mon's newly-established romantic personality, Jens' hilarious blunders, Ran's unexpected modeling poses on unexpected places, Tina's absurd comments with that big toothy smile. I also miss my bestest friends in the world, Kaycee and our intellectual forums and crazy addiction to some Hollywood icons, Janice and our playful verbal fights and Zhe-Ela and our lovelife sharing. I miss my professors and their classes. I miss my classmates. Then there is Papyrus. The newsletter I am so determined to get published. My writers I so badly want to get motivated. My writing that seems to be fading its once shining eloquence.

And so the weariness swarms every section of my system. It is more exhausting than ever.