an argument about a rotten reality...

I initiated an argument with Lance last week. It revolved around my accusation of him being "unpressured" because he is still currently reviewing for the board exams. I insisted that he is unable to understand my frustrations and worries because he is not compelled yet to find a job. He appeared very positive and patient with everything despite the numerous rotten possibilities that he could fail the board exams and his father could retire anytime soon. Writing that sentence just made me realize how foolish and envious my accusations are. I could not have been clearer in emphasizing the fact that I am working and he is not. So when he retorted that I could not just see and imagine the pressure that his course (Mechanical Engineering) and upcoming board exams have on him, I bombarded him with my thoughtless claims that "school pressure" and "work pressure plus the discovery of the real rotten world" are two different things. He told me that I know nothing of his current academic ordeals and worries about his future to which I responded that I am more than willing to have our situations switched and go to school than to face this dreary place they call reality.

The heated argument gradually turned melancholic when we finally realized how we are both displeased and frustrated in different ways. I succumbed to the poignant truth that facing reality without teachers and a second home is far more difficult than I have imagined. I have always been the adventurous type of person who loves to encounter challenges and experience unfamiliar things; however, this past months have revealed far too many unfamiliar yet disturbing realities about the world and its people. I discovered how all these years I have viewed the world with naiveté by constantly believing that there is a certain goodness in everyone's heart. Nonetheless, the new encounters and meetings with strangers proved how selfishness and conceit can topple that goodness aside. I told Lance how the world looks much different on this side than on his and wondered if he would catch a glimpse of this place in my type of point of view. Sometimes I doubt it though I am quite sure he would. He has always been the stronger and optimistic one--a dramatic foil to my character. His judgments has always been more accurate than mine. I guess he already had an image of this place before I had the chance to encounter it. He is always like that anyway--knowing things and keeping it hidden until time demands its revelation.

Of course, we made up after an hour of arguing. We have always enjoyed arguments, though. Arguing gives us the chance to speak what's on our mind without being overly sensitive with each other's feelings. I guess that is why we always end up fighting especially when the subject is related to religion and Jude Law. Nevertheless, our argument about reality is one of the most remarkable ones because we end up agreeing (which seldom happens) and sympathetic with each other.